It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
do herpes really smell.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
as a side note pls kill me
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
