yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Your cock deserves a montage
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
