I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
