We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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