Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
