Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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