life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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