I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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