Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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