Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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