I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
