He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
