Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
