i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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