Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
