If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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