i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
