Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
