the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
