I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
