Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
