it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just want to make out with him forever
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