And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
