FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
