there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
