I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize