I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Randomize
