Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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