just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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