I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
