Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
