to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
