Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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