I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
