Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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