i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
