Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
