It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
