I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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