he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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