am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
there is glitter all over my balls
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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