we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
