so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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