Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
