Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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