My friends, they love my intelligence
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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