"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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