I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is Oprah even human
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
