I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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