pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize