ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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