Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
