trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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