Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
