i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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