I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
