so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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