If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
is it fun? or sober?
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