Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
