apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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