Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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