You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
The ass gains better be worth it
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
