mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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