I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
