Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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