a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
