Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
