he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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