come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize